


There's No Second Try

by silvermoongirl10



Series: Moments of the Past [10]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Ambiguous Opening, Angst, Darden being silent support, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is getting out if Kelly has anything to say about it, Everyone is getting pretty desperate, Gen, Kelly is worried, Like really REALLY needs a hug, Matt is determined, Pre-Series, Severide needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6189442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A firefighter is trapped in a seven-story building, with no way out. Hope is quickly running out and all Kelly can do is stand there and watch. The day had started out as any normal, good day, and it fast became a bad one. Kelly desperately needs this firefighter to survive, he doesn't know what he'll do otherwise. </p><p>(Set in 2011)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Today I finished writing my 10,000 word dissertation, so as a reward I began to write this story. I forewarn you, that updates will not be regular as I still have one 2,500 word essay and two exams coming up in the next couple of months, and I am suffering from major writer’s block. But I felt it was time to get back into writing for this series.
> 
> Title is from the Nickleback song If Today Was Your Last Day. Also some inspiration was taken from the firefighter film Ladder 49, if you have not seen that film I highly recommend it! (But you might need some tissues).
> 
> Also apologises in advance, this is a short chapter, just to get the story started, and as said I don’t know when I will be able to update this, but I will try my hardest to get through writing the story and updating it as quick as I can! I hope you enjoy this!

Kelly stood staring at the abandoned seven-story apartment building. He watched as the grey, darkening to black, smoke twirled and twisted up into the night sky, hiding the calming stars behind it. Leaving only the bright, flickering flames to stand out across the dark sky.

Slowly, approaching figures began to become clearer against the smoke. Closer the two figures came, until they stood a foot away from him, blocking most of the view of the building. Kelly pulled his gaze from the climbing smoke to lock gazes with Andy, sharing a desperate, wide-eyed look. To most of the people around them they looked calm and collected, but to each other, the terror was clear in their eyes.

“We can’t find a way up Chief,” Herrmann commented softly from Andy’s left.

Kelly turned to see Boden wipe a hand across his face, giving himself a moment’s pause. Clearing his throat Boden sternly said, “We’ll keep trying. While he’s alive up there, we will _not_ leave him there. _That is_ _not an option_.” Boden turned and swiftly marched over to his car, with Herrmann following at his heels. Andy spared Kelly a glance before hurrying after them, desperate to pour over the building plans, desperate to find a way out for their trapped colleague and friend.

His hands clenched into fists, Kelly turned back to the alight building, watching as Engine tried to battle back the roaring flames. His men had joined Truck, needing something to do, unable to stand there. As their Lieutenant, Kelly knew he should join them, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t force himself to move from his perfect position to watch the building. The crashing of the floor echoing in his memory, he had been stood outside, in this spot, putting his mask on when it happened, he had _seen_ the collapsing floor make the building _shake_. He remembered standing there, wondering how anyone could survive. But he knew the man who was trapped, and he knew damn well that the man would survive. Despite the one story fall, leaving him trapped on the fourth floor with no way out, the stairs gone, the windows blocked by fire.

He briefly looked over at the men of Truck and Squad, who were all bustlingly for positions around the building plans resting on the Chief’s car. All looking for ways to get to the fourth floor safely, without trapping anyone else, their eyes were wide, trying to take in as much detail as they could. In their desperation, their hands hovered over the plans, following paths only they could see. Even Boden’s shaking hands traced back and forth over the plans, a perfectly blank mask on his face, beginning to crack, through the sad look in his eyes. The look of a man who had seen this situation too many times, and lost against the fire far more times than he had won.

His gaze flickered to the men of Engine, who fought against the fire with all the grit and determination they had, knowing if they could _just_ fight the fire back from the windows then they might just get their friend out. Together, for every step they were pushed back, they pushed back two steps more, repeating this over and over again. Determined to win, every shift they fought with fire, battling to save the waiting victims, this shift, this _fire_ , however, filled them with so much resolve, this was one fire that _would not win_.

From where he stood, Kelly listened as Police Officers behind him held the gawking onlookers back. He heard whispers, rumours spreading of a trapped firefighter. He gritted his teeth, they made it sound like harmless gossip, but they were wrong. A man’s life was in the balance and all they could do was talk about what a _shame_ it all was.

Slowly, the smoke turned blacker and blacker, fading away from the safe grey it once had been. He looked back at Boden, who also looked at the smoke, and saw how the man’s expression tightened. He knew, as well as Boden and every other firefighter on scene. Time was not on their side. As the seconds and minutes ticked by, turning the smoke darker, and the building growing weaker. Hope was running out.

Suddenly needing something to do, Kelly reached up with one hand to his radio. “Hey you still with me?”

A pause, and then a voice crackled over the radio. _“Yeah. I’m still here.”_

“Good. Because you ain’t going anywhere. We’ll get you out of there soon enough, and you’ll owe me a beer for all this undue stress,” said Kelly, forcing his voice to remain neutral.

The voice sighed, _“Look I need you to do something for me…”_

“No,” spat Kelly, “We are _not_ going there. Whatever it is, you can do it yourself!”

 _“It’s just a phone call Kelly, that’s all I need you to do,”_ soothed the voice. Kelly took comfort from it, ignoring the crackling fire that sounded through the radio.

“I guess I could do that, but I still don’t know why you can’t,” he ground out, trying to hold his emotions back.

 _“Are there news teams there?”_ asked the voice.

Kelly turned to look behind him for the first time since the floor collapsed. “Yeah, guess this is why you want me to make a phone call. Want me to make you’re statement for you?”

_“I want you to call Hallie, she’ll see this on the news and will see everyone and will know I’m on the call.”_

Kelly’s blank mask cracked, “Yeah, I’ll do that for you buddy.”

_“Thanks Kelly.”_

“You got it,” he said softly, as he began to dig his phone from his pocket; he looked back at the building. “Damnit Matt, you’d better get out of this one,” he muttered to himself. Wondering how everything had gone so wrong, so fast. Today had started out as any normal, _good_ day, and it fast became a bad one.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually surprised I got this chapter up in two days, I know where I want this story to go, but actually writing it is like pulling teeth, so I appreciate all your patience! This story will probably be made up of chapters of about 1,000 words each, just as a warning, hopefully meaning that while they're short, I can get them up quicker. Fingers crossed, but don't hold your breaths!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this and your comments! They mean a lot! Hopefully the rest of this story won’t disappoint. Also I have no idea how long oxygen tanks last, so I’ve totally guessed here, for the purposes of the timeline of this story, if I’ve got it massively wrong, please just ignore.

 

_20 minutes earlier_

Matt carefully walked through the fifth floor checking for any signs of life, for while it was an abandoned building it didn’t mean that homeless people hadn’t come in for shelter.

“Chief, fifth floor is clear,” he stated as he head back towards the stairs. The fire roared above him, the flames curling as they rose from the floor to the ceiling, grey smoke climbed with the flames and drifted towards the cracked windows.

 _“Copy that Casey. Head back out, the rest of the building is also clear,”_ came Boden’s clear voice.

Matt smirked imaging the fake moaning Kelly would start, for being woken in the early hours of the morning and not actually getting to do anything.

Suddenly a loud groaning sound cut through the roar and crackling of the fire. He froze for a moment, wide eyes landing on the staircase that was too far away, Matt then flickered his eyes over to the windows. Figuring his best bet was to get to the window and hang on there until a ladder was raised, Matt began slowly and carefully stepping across the wide space. Flinching as the wooden floorboards beneath his feet protested and shifted.

 _“Casey! The smoke’s turning black! Get out of there now!”_ barked Boden, Matt could see a clear image in his head of Boden tightly gripping his radio staring at the smoke as if it had personally offended him.

“Heading to the windows on the East side now Chief,” responded Matt. He was about a metre away when an almighty cracking sound rumbled throughout the entire building. He felt the building shake and feeling the once firm, albeit shaking, floor beneath his feet begin to drop. Matt desperately outstretched his hands to the windowsill, but his hands missed, through his gloves he _felt_ his fingers brush against the stone windowsill as he felt his body fall. He stared up, as his escape from the fire was pulled away from him.

As he felt his body fall towards the floor below him, he heard many desperate voices calling for him. But only two were the clearest of them all.

_“Matt!”_

_“Mattie!”_

It was the second that made his heart clench, Kelly hardly ever called him Mattie, and Matt could hear Kelly’s terror and Andy’s fear in their voices.

He opened his mouth to try and respond, but just as he did, he felt his body impact with the floor and suddenly everything was dark.

* * *

 

Blearily Matt opened his eyes; first everything was just dizzying shapes, slowly his hearing also returned, all in one rushing moment. As it did, he realized his radio was going wild with one particular person’s voice.

_“…Answer your radio dammit! Are you listening to me Matt? Answer your Goddamn radio you jerk! I swear if you’re just sat there listening to me and not saying anything I’ll kill you myself! You’re radio is there for a damn reason you know! Dammit Matt! …please Matt… you have to answer…please…”_

Matt opened and closed his mouth a few times, desperate to get _something_ out, he couldn’t leave Kelly in the unknown like that, he just couldn’t. “…Kel…”

_“ Matt?!”_

“I’m ‘ere Kel’, I’m ‘ere,” he coughed.

There was a pause and then a new voice, belonging to Andy, said, “Good to hear you Matt.”

“Kelly?” questioned Matt, concerned that Kelly had said nothing since he’d shockingly exclaimed Matt’s name.

 _“Yeah, he can’t come to the radio right now,”_ replied Andy softly, no doubt looking worriedly over at Kelly wherever he was.

Knowing that Kelly could still hear him, Matt pulled himself up so he was leaning against a wall that probably would collapse soon. “It’s okay Kelly. I’m a little banged up, and knocked my head a little, but I’m good.”

He waited for the reply, giving Kelly his time; while the channel was all alight with his fellow firefighters all beginning to put together a plan to get him out.

_“Oh God Matt…” came a soft voice, trying to remain neutral._

“I’m okay,” smiled Matt, even though Kelly couldn’t see him. “No need to go all protective big brother on me.”

 _“But you see I do,”_ replied a more cheerful voice, while clearly forced, _“Look at all the messes you get into when you’re on your own.”_

Matt then found himself sat in a lull of conversation, after relaying that he had only fallen to the fourth floor, but unable to reach a window as the fire blocked them all. As he sat propped against the wall, he looked at the violent orange and yellow flames, which twisted and turned against the windows, walls and staircase. Trapping Matt on the fourth floor. He looked at his oxygen tank, and realized at most he had forty minutes, if he slowed his breathing down.

He slumped against the wall, part of him accepting that he wasn’t going to get out, not through lack of trying on fifty-one’s part. But the fire didn’t seem to want to let go of its only victim. He only hoped Kelly wouldn’t come charging in risking his own life, he couldn’t bear the thought of being the cause of anyone’s, but especially Kelly and Andy’s, injuries or worse.

 _“We’re going to get you out Matt. We will,”_ came Kelly’s stubborn voice, probably in response to someone else’s comment that there was no way to get Matt out.

“I know Kelly,” he softly replied, more for Kelly’s benefit than his own. “I know.”

He closed his eyes, blocking out the terrifying flames, he thought back on when he joined the Academy. He’d gone thinking that once he graduated, no one, except maybe Christie, would care what happened to him. Accepting that if he got hurt no one would visit him in the hospital, if the worst happened no one who really knew him would be at the funeral.

But that had all changed, the moment he stood in line with Andy, and then met Kelly. While he was now estranged from his sister and so didn’t know his young niece that well. He had Kelly and Andy, the two brothers he’d never had, and he had a great number of friends at fifty-one, ones that cared about him. Then there was Hallie, the woman he could easily imagine spending the rest of his life with.

Now he had people to fight for, and he was determined to fight. Hearing the voices over the radio, voices belonging to his friends who were fighting to get him back. Made him want to fight all the more. They weren’t giving up on him, so there was no way he was going to give up on them. That was not how it worked.

The fire would not win today.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

Kelly placed his phone back in his pocket and stared down at his feet, his hands clenched into fists at the memory of Hallie's voice as she tried to hold back her tears. He just hoped that Hallie, who was on-shift at the hospital, stayed away from the TV and the news. It was bad enough for him, just standing there staring up at the building where his brother was trapped, but in someway it would be worse for Hallie. She and Matt were going to start a life together, Matt had shown Kelly and Andy the engagement ring he'd bought, sat in his locker so there was no way Hallie could accidentally find it. Matt couldn't die now. That would be too cruel.

Hearing a frustrated growl, he turned and watched as Herrmann marched away from the group gathered around Boden's car and the building plans. He pulled his helmet from his head and furiously rubbed his hair, causing the soot from his glove to smear the soot over his hair. Herrmann's eyes were alight with anger, determination and fear. Mouch looked over worriedly at his friend, but looked back at the plans when Herrmann came to a stop beside Kelly.

"You okay?" asked Kelly, knowing that no one could possibly be okay right now, but he needed to block out the sound of Hallie's voice. The voice that was trying so hard to keep everything together.

"Will be better once Casey's out of there," grunted Herrmann, staring at the building with what could only be described as pure hatred.

Kelly nodded, and then turned to his radio. "How's everything going Matt?"

 _"Fine. Considering the situation. In a pretty good spot, the fire doesn't seem to be spreading this way,"_  responded Matt. But Kelly heard the 'yet' as plain as day.

"How's your air?" asked Herrmann, watching Kelly from the corner of his eye. That was the great thing about Herrmann, no matter what he was going through, he was always there to look out for his friends.

 _"Er… got maybe another twenty minutes til its empty,"_  admitted Matt softly.

Kelly gritted his teeth, "Dammit," he cursed quietly.

 _"Hey, Kelly its okay, I've got air,"_  came Matt's calming voice. Kelly nodded, despite knowing Matt couldn't see him. This was all too much, even if there was a possible way to save Matt, the running out of air caused all too many problems. The limited time could make other firefighters rush the plan, and lead to not only the loss of Matt, but anyone else who went into get him. As much as it pained him, knowing Boden, Kelly knew there was no way, anyone would go into the building until Boden deemed the plan safe enough to not cause a greater loss of life. Even if it meant sitting back and doing nothing to rescue Matt.

Herrmann clapped Kelly on the shoulder, "We'll get you out of there Lieutenant," assured Herrmann into his radio.

Looking at the building, the only way Kelly saw to get Matt out was to clear the windows of flames, get a ladder up there and have Matt climb out of the window. It was the only clear option he saw, and while Engine were fighting valiantly against the fire. It was not letting up one bit, meaning the firefighters were having to put ounces of effort into just clearing a quarter of a window. And to get a ladder safely up to get Matt out, at least three or fours windows would have to be clear to ensure the risk of the fire spreading again was low enough for it to be safe.

Seeing the look on Boden's face, Kelly could see that the Chief knew the same harsh fact. But it didn't stop everyone from looking for another option while Engine did all that they could.

It just wasn't enough.

It would all just be pointless in just over twenty minutes once Matt's tank ran out of air. He'd last maybe five minutes longer, if he was lucky.

* * *

 

The minutes had ticked agonizingly slow for Matt, as he just stared at the flame-consumed windows. His only way out blocked. He was trapped, and as every minute passed by, his hope and resolve to get out were weakening. He knew everyone at fifty-one would get desperate and that could lead to mistakes and loss of life. He didn't want that. And he  _knew_  Kelly would be one of the ones to come charging in to get him, even if Boden ordered him not to. There was no way Kelly was going to sit this out.

He thumped his head back against the wall, and ground his teeth in frustration. He knew if the time came to call off the rescue with him still in the building, it would only be harder for everyone because they had heard him talking on the radio. He wished he had stayed unconscious, because at least then, the men would only have to live with unknown fact that he may have been alive or he could have been killed in the fall thus meaning there was no one there to rescue, they would have never known the difference. But to  _know_  that your friend was  _alive_  and trapped could be all the more taunting for the rescue teams.

He distantly heard on the radio that some men were going to enter the building again to see if there was anyway to get up to him.

But looking down at his air tank, his heart sunk. Not for him, he had now accepted his fate, for him it was easy. But for the ones he would be leaving behind, they would take this perceived failure hard.

The building groaned once again, causing him to flinch. The men couldn't enter the building they couldn't. It wasn't safe.

Seeing the evidence of what was to happen, he slowly reached up with one hand and gripped his radio. "Chief…"

* * *

 

_"Chief…"_

Boden pulled his gaze from the plans. "Go ahead Casey."

 _"I don't have much air left…Chief I think you're going to have to call it,"_  came the quiet voice.

Boden turned to his left, hearing a sharp intake of breath. To see Severide shaking his head and staring at him with wide eyes, silently pleading with him.

"Casey…" choked Boden, his voice cracking. Everyone stared at him, Darden shifted so he stood beside Severide, their shoulders touching, two pairs of eyes wide in disbelief. Herrmann and Mouch just stared at him, not wanting to believe that they had run out of time. The remaining men just looked devastated. This couldn't be it, it just couldn't.

_"Chief. The building's groaning and I don't have enough air. It's not safe. Pull the men back."_

"No!" snapped Severide into his radio. "Don't you  _dare_  say that Matt. You are  _not_  being left in there!"

The men shifted uncomfortably. Not knowing what to do, agreeing with Severide, but also seeing Casey's point. It was the worst situation anyone could be in.

The building groaned louder again, part of the roof sliding off and plummeting to the ground below. Engine avoided the falling debris, while still trying to fight the fire.

 _"Kelly, they've…_ _you_ _…have to pull back. Its not safe,"_ Casey bit out stubbornly.

"Don't call it Chief. Don't call it!" pleaded Severide. But Boden knew, he knew what he had to do and it was eating him alive to have to do it. Severide shook his head furiously seeing the resigned look on Boden's face. " _No!_  You can't Chief! We can still get him out!  _We have to try!_ " Severide's voice broke on the last sentence, Darden pulled Severide against him tightly, preventing Severide from doing something that might get himself killed.

Blood roaring in his ears, Boden raised his hand to his radio, flickering his eyes around his men.

"Don't!  _Don't do it Chief!_ " pleaded Severide, as he twisted and pulled against Darden's grip desperately, his movements jerky. "You can't leave him in  _there_!"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Boden pulled his radio nearer. "All…all teams pull back immediately. That's an order."

 _"NO!"_  screeched Severide, Darden and Cap began pulling him away. Severide threw out his arms and legs, desperate to get away. Boden's heart broke seeing him, seeing Severide's torment filled gaze locked on the building, just made him feel like the worst human being in the world.

A single voice halted Severide's movements.

 _"Kelly,"_  soothed Casey.  _"It's okay. It'll be okay."_

Severide's face crumpled and he grasped tightly at his radio. "Matt. Don't do this."

Darden's head bowed forward, until it rested on Severide's shoulder, his own shoulders beginning to slowly shake. Boden could do nothing but just stand there, watching as two of his men began to break.

 _"You and Andy look out for each other. And you'll be fine,"_  choked Casey, everyone could plainly hear how valiantly Casey tried to keep his voice strong for his brothers.  _"Look after Hallie for me."_

"Look after her, your damned self Matt," ground out Severide.

The building gave another almighty groan, just as Casey began to say,  _"Kelly-"_

Severide's eyes widened even more, Darden's shocked gaze snapped up to look at the building, then stare at Severide's radio in disbelief.

" _Mattie!"_

All the radio gave in response was crackling static.

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken a while for this chapter, but I hope it was worth the wait. This story may be four or five chapters long, so now I've got to figure out how to end this (may end up being something that would realistically be impossible, lol). Anyway I hope you enjoyed this! And I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but I don't know when that'll be!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry for the long break between chapters, I didn’t mean to especially with the cliff-hanger I left this on, but between exam revision and the writer’s block of trying to figure out a way to write this chapter (which I’m still not sure about how it came out). So thank you everyone for bearing with me and thank you for taking the time to read this and comment it means a whole bunch and encouraged me to figure out how to write this chapter! XD

For a few heartbeats all Kelly could hear was his own roaring pulse in his ears. He stared dumbfounded at the partially collapsed building; part of the roof had caved in taking a few of the floors and part of the outer wall with it. Leaving a heap of rubble, it was as if a small section of the building had been cut out. Remembering where Matt said he was, Kelly scanned the part of the fourth floor he could see and desperately searched for a human form.

He tuned into what was happening around him slowly, the excited voices of Engine as the men babbled that the partial collapse had put out some of the flames, and so the men were battling the remaining fire with a viscous determination. Only a sliver of hope had been restored, but they would take what they could get. There was still hope.

Feeling a hand squeeze his shoulder, he looked sideways to see Andy staring at him. He quickly looked away, remembering that terrifying moment as Andy held him back as Matt spoke his last words over the radio. He clenched his eyes shut, last words, it sounded so final. It was final.

“Hey don’t look like that!” argued Andy, Kelly slowly turned his head, “Matt is getting out of there, you can bet on it.”

Kelly shrugged, “Is he though? He was lucky to survive the first fall. But this one? It’s so much worse.”

Andy’s eyes narrowed and he glared sharply at Kelly, “I don’t know why you’re so suddenly sure that Matt won’t get out, but you are wrong. Dead wrong.” Kelly flinched at Andy’s last wording of choice, which only got Andy angrier. “He isn’t dead jackass!”

“Might as well prepare for the worst,” mumbled Kelly.

“What the hell?” exclaimed Andy, throwing his arms up into the air. “That is not the Kelly Severide I know talking.”

“It’s the Kelly Severide who’s lost a friend,” snapped Kelly, feeling none of the hope Engine or Andy had. Looking at the scene how could Matt have survived? He couldn’t have. That was the cold honest truth.

Andy shook his head and growled out, “Fine. You stay here and mope about the loss of a friend _who isn’t dead_. And I’ll go rescue him.” With that Andy stormed away leaving Kelly feeling as if he had no tether and was just drifting. He had just lost a friend and a brother, no matter what Andy said. Matt wasn’t coming home.

_“You and Andy look out for each other. And you’ll be fine.”_

Those were Matt’s last words, how could he think that? How could Matt possibly think that he’d be fine? It felt as if he was being torn apart. How could he go back to the Firehouse and see the book Matt was reading sat on the dinning table just where he’d left it when they got called out. Just sat there waiting for Matt to return and finish reading it. But he wouldn’t. Because Matt wasn’t coming back. He was gone.

* * *

 

Pain. That was the first thing he registered. Then the darkness, and it wasn’t the all-consuming darkness that came with unconsciousness, it was the type that was pitch black with some spots of light, which meant either he was in a dark room…or…slowly he remembered what happened. He wasn’t in a dark room; he must be buried under some rubble. The last thing he remembered was talking to Kelly, then a groaning sound before, once again (because wasn’t that just his luck?) the floor gave way, tilting as it fell, the part nearest the windows first. He could do nothing but brace himself as he watched as the floor disappeared. As the new gap came towards him, he spun around and tried to grip something, _anything_ , to prevent his decent. But within seconds the floor in front of him tilted and he felt himself slide down the now diagonal floor, sliding almost to the ground. Before he heavily landed on a heap of rubble, once again being knocked unconscious.

He moved his left leg and felt some rubble shift, before his leg hit a huge concrete block, well that was close. He opened his eyes; well he thought he did, because to be honest the spots of light could be from the concussion he was sure to have. Because wasn’t that just the icing on the cake.

After remaining still, he strained his ears for any sounds, and distantly he could hear the men of fifty-one hustling around the site. He cracked open his mouth, “H…he…hey!” he huffed out, but it was nothing more than a cracked whisper. No one was going to hear that.

Rolling his eyes at his unfortunate luck, he hurt too much to try and move much more, but he still shifted every few seconds due to the uncomfortable rubble that was digging into his back.

* * *

 

Kelly just stood and stared at nothing, the haunting thoughts of never seeing Matt again swirling around his head. He jumped hearing a pair of footsteps coming to a stop beside him, turning he was faced with the concerned expression of Boden.

“We’ll get him out Kelly,” Boden softly said.

Kelly grimaced and shook his head, “You don’t know that…”

“This is Matt, Kelly,” stressed Boden, a hand on Kelly’s shoulder and a fierce look of determination. “He’s been in tough situations before, we’ll get to him. We’ll find him.”

“What if…what if its too late?” choked Kelly, staring back at Boden with wide eyes.

Shaking his head, Boden sternly commented, “You can’t think like that Kelly. You just can’t. How many times have you gone in to rescue someone from a hopeless situation, only to find them alive?”

Wide eyed Kelly shrugged, it had happened a lot. But he just didn’t want to hope, what if he did and the worst did happen? He’d feel even more crushed than he did now.

With one more clap on Kelly’s shoulder, Boden began to walk away but not without one more comment, “We’ll get him back.”

Kelly could only stare at the new pile of rubble, which reached almost reached up to the first floor. Once again he scanned what he could see of the fourth floor, and felt despair overwhelm him once again at the sight of no Matt. He jumped hearing excited voices and frowned at Andy who was stood in front of him.

“What do you hear Kelly?” exclaimed Andy, his eyes wide with excitement.

Frowning again Kelly listened, and heard the usual sounds of when they were on call. So he responded, “Nothing. Nothing that’s not usual.”

“ _Exactly_ ,” grinned Andy. Kelly frowned again, so rolling his eyes Andy added, “ _So_ , what _should_ we be hearing?”

Kelly’s eyes widened. They should be hearing Matt’s PASS alarm screeching at them, and the distinctive sound wasn’t there. So either it could be broken, which it shouldn’t as the alarms were near on impossible to break, so that meant only one thing. Matt was definitely alive, because _he was moving_.

Kelly marched towards the building, seeing that all the other men were suddenly realizing the same thing. Everyone was calling Matt’s name, but getting no response, meaning that Matt could well be buried deep under the rubble. He shook the thought away; he was _not_ heading towards that feeling of despair again. Matt was alive. He had to be. But with no sight of him, it was going to be hard to find him.

“Where the hell are you Matt?” he muttered.

* * *

 

Matt grunted as he shifted again, jolting his right leg, which he figured was broken. He sighed and then coughed from the dust, the dust that made his throat dry and so prevented him from calling out to the firefighters that were shouting his name.

Suddenly one voice became clear over all the others.

“Matt!” shouted Kelly, “Dammit Matt stop moving so we can hear your damned PASS alarm!”

Matt’s eyes widened, his concussed brain forgetting that all his shifting around was preventing his PASS alarm to shout out to the men of fifty-one where he was. So immediately, he stopped moving and ignoring the rubble digging into his back, he waited a few seconds. And sure enough, the shrill beeping of his alarm went off, it made him wince aggravating his headache, but the pain was dulled when the men’s voices raised.

“It’s coming from over there!”

“Come on! It’s time to get him out of there!”

Suddenly, beside him small bits of rubble fell around him as someone climbed up the rubble. After a minute of scrabbling, a burst of light hit him, causing him to blink up at the head now blocking most of the light.

“Hey there Lieutenant!” greeted the broad grinned face of Herrmann.

“Hey Herrmann,” coughed Matt.

Herrmann looked down the rubble heap, “He’s here! I’ve got him!”

Matt winced once again and moved to cut off his shrill PASS alarm. More rubble fell as someone scrabbled desperately up the rubble heap; seconds later Herrmann’s face was joined by Kelly’s. Matt relaxed, despite the rubble digging into his back, he had been found.

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is at least going to be one more chapter, it could be two, but one is probably a safe bet. Some credit must go to my mum for the idea of Andy telling Kelly about Matt’s PASS alarm, I was seriously stuck on how to rescue/find Matt so I am beyond grateful that my mum gave me the idea, it helped to get this chapter up today.
> 
> As I have said that this story had taken some inspiration from the firefighter film Ladder 49, I was wondering how many of you have seen it? If you haven’t, you defiantly should! (Or at the very least check out the trailer on YouTube to get an idea, the trailer isn’t great, but it’s an amazing film!)
> 
> At the moment the story I was planning to set at Matt’s and Kelly’s retirement has stopped all production, literally nothing has been written. But after re-watching the first three seasons, still waiting for season 4 over here in the UK, with no air date either! :(, so I have no decided to write one-shots based on some tense moments between Kelly and Matt during the seasons because some ideas have pushed their way into my head. So keep an eye out for those, but it could be another month before you see any of them, hopefully not that long for chapter 5 of this one though!
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the wait, but now I have completely finished the year (and my final third year at uni :O) with my two exams completed. I had to wait a bit to get the history facts out of my head, just so I’d be able to write this final chapter without Cold War or Early Modern European Queen facts unconsciously making their way into it.
> 
> I hope this chapter nicely rounds up the story for you, I’m not completely happy with it, but I don’t think I ever would be to be honest.

Hearing Herrmann’s shout of finding Matt, and the PASS alarm cutting off meaning Matt had moved again. Kelly pushed his way past the others and scrambled up the rubble heap, ignoring the pieces that poked and prodded at his hands through his gloves. Within seconds he had joined Herrmann at the top of the pile, and looking down he saw Matt. His face was covered in soot, probably with some cuts and bruises (not that he could see through the soot) and he hadn’t even been buried that deep beneath the rubble, finally something had gone their way.

“Hey Kelly,” croaked Matt, as he coughed through the dust.

Kelly sighed in relief, “Hey buddy. Can you feel everything?” he asked, putting his mind on getting Matt out of the rubble. Finally something he could do to help.

Matt nodded with a grimace, “Yeah I can even feel the rubble digging into my back, but I’m pretty sure my right leg is broken.”

“Sounds like you got lucky,” commented Herrmann seriously, looking down at his friend with relief shinning in his eyes.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” gripped Matt, with a tired grin.

“Well. You are,” snapped Kelly, he ignored Matt’s look of concern and confusion as he turned to see Capp and Tony clambering up the heap with a backboard. Boden was at the bottom, casting his eyes over the heap of rubble, watching for any sign of movement.

Tony and Herrmann managed to get Matt out of the rubble and onto the backboard, then the four of them made a slow decline down the heap. Kelly stood back as Matt was loaded onto a gurney and put in the back of sixty-one, with Dawson jogging over to the front to drive.

Shay, leaning over Matt’s right leg from the back of sixty-one, frowned at him, “You coming?” she asked, gesturing to the spare seat in the back. He shook his head, not knowing why his feet wouldn’t move.

“Kelly?” questioned Andy, looking between the ambulance and Kelly in confusion.

He shook his head again, before clearing his throat, “You go. I’ve got to help Squad clear up.”

“Kelly-”

“Just go,” he muttered to Andy before turning away and walking towards the Squad truck. Within seconds he heard the slamming of the ambulance doors, he turned slightly and found no Andy and so correctly guessed Andy was in the back of the ambulance currently speeding away with Matt.

He paused and thought on why he found himself suddenly trying to put distance between himself and Matt. Not long ago he thought Matt was dead, and here he was being unable to look at his friend. His stupid friend that told him not to enter the building to rescue him before the radio cut out and the building partly collapsed.

He sucked in a heaving breath and then he knew, he knew why he couldn’t look at Matt. He was angry. He was angry with Matt, for getting trapped in the building, for saying goodbye, for getting buried in the rubble heap, for making Kelly think that one of his best friends and brothers was dead. He knew realistically that Matt could only take the blame for saying goodbye, but that didn’t stop the anger coursing through his veins.

Looking over he found Boden looking at him with a tired face, a look that was probably on his own face. He sighed heavily and then helped with clear up, part of him not wanting to go anywhere near the hospital.

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, everyone had cleaned up and was sat in the waiting room, all clustered together waiting to hear something. Boden stood to the side, watching over them, like the father figure and mother hen he was to them. Seeing Boden shift so he was looking down the hallway, everyone sat up. Some, like Herrmann and Mouch, had braised their hands on the arms of their chairs, half sitting and half standing. When Andy appeared, still in his bunker gear, around the corner, seeing him calm, everyone relaxed.

“How is he?” asked Boden, a hand resting on Andy’s shoulder.

“He’s fine,” replied Andy, looking from Boden to Kelly and then back to Boden. “His right leg is broken, so that’s him off duty for at least four weeks.” Everyone chuckled knowing how displeased Matt was going to be about that.

“Good thing Hallie’s a Doctor, she knows how to get hold of a sedative to keep him on the couch,” quipped Mouch, Herrmann nodded his agreement.

Andy and Boden chuckled, Kelly stared at his hands, unable to laugh or joke. The night could have ended very differently.

“Anything else?” asked Boden, Kelly snapped his head up to look, worried that Andy had only mentioned Matt’s broken leg to ease them into the bad news.

“Just some cuts, bruises and a mild concussion,” shrugged Andy, “The worse injury he’s got is his leg. So he was pretty lucky,” he added softly.

Kelly just sat there silently when everyone began to get up and head home, all saying to Andy to tell Matt that they’d be by in the morning. He focused his eyes again and found Andy just staring at him, everyone else including Boden gone.

“You can go in and see him,” prompted Andy. Kelly shook his head, Andy sighed in frustration. “Well it would be great if you did. Hallie is in there with him and she needs to get some rest, even if its in the on-call room, as she’s got a shift tomorrow morning, and she won’t leave Matt yet. And I need to go back to fifty-one to change so I can go home to Heather and the boys. So Kelly what are you going to do? Sit here? Go home? Or, I don’t know, go and check on our little brother?”

Kelly stared into Andy’s eyes that were filled with frustration. He knew if he didn’t move voluntarily, then Andy would just drag him by his jacket to Matt’s room anyway. So he nodded and got to his feet, he slowly walked past Andy and then hesitated before walking down the hallway.

“Room 321,” commented Andy. Both of them pretending that it was the lack of a room number that had made Kelly hesitate.

He nodded again, and then made his way down the hallway, feeling Andy’s eyes boring into him. He knew Andy wouldn’t leave until he saw Kelly go into Matt’s room, even if it was only for a few seconds.

He reached the door to the room, and he saw through the door glass that Matt was awake and talking to Hallie, who looked exhausted herself. It was knowing that Hallie had a morning shift the next day that helped Kelly push open the door and enter the room.

Matt and Hallie both smiled at him, and he tried to respond with his own smile, but going by the look on Matt’s face, he knew it wasn’t convincing. Hallie got to her feet, and as she passed Kelly, she gently squeezed his arm. “I’ll leave you two alone, I need to get some sleep.”

“Yes. You do!” agreed Matt, his voice still slightly hoarse.

Hallie smiled back at Matt, before she was gone. Kelly felt untethered as he stood between the bed and the door. “Kelly?” at Matt’s voice he slowly walked over and then sat in the chair Hallie had been using. “You okay?” asked Matt.

“Fine,” he gritted out.

Matt frowned and shook his head, “No you’re not. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? _What’s wrong?!_ After what’s happened tonight you’re seriously going to ask me _what’s wrong?_ ” exclaimed Kelly.

“Okay,” Matt said slowly, raising his hands in a sign of peace, “I admit. That was bad phrasing.”

“Yeah, it was,” growled Kelly. He then grimaced, “You want to know what’s _wrong_? How about, after the secondary collapse I didn’t do _anything_ to help because I thought that there was no point. You were already dead, you had to be. How about that Matt, huh?!”

“Kelly…” sighed Matt.

“Oh don’t ‘Kelly’ me Matt!” snapped Kelly. “You don’t get to do that! Twice you could have died tonight okay? And I’m angry with you! I am _so angry_ that you said goodbye over the damn radio! That you said it would be _okay_!” He leaned forward and stared at Matt, his anger making him shake. “How would it be okay if you’d died? How could you think that? You’re one of my best friends, not only that! You’re my brother too! So answer me this, how could it be okay if my brother had died tonight?!” He heaved in a shuddering breath, his wide angry eyes, meeting Matt’s concerned filled eyes.

Matt said nothing; he just reached out his arms and pulled Kelly into a hug. Kelly tensed but Matt’s soothing hands rubbing his back, let him relax. He rested his head in the crook of Matt’s neck; he took one shuddering breath after another.

While Matt gently murmured into his ear. “It’s okay, I’m okay. It’s okay Kelly.”

After a few minutes Kelly sat back, and shot Matt a hesitant smile. “On the days we have off, I can bring my x-box round if you want. Just so you don’t die of bordom.”

“Yes! You have to do that Kelly!” responded Matt excitedly, “I’m going to loose my mind otherwise!”

“Well we wouldn’t want that,” he chuckled. Seeing Matt’s eyes begin to droop, he gently pushed Matt so he was lying down. “Get some rest Matt. You’re gonna need it, because I’m gonna kick your butt on the x-box.”

“In you’re dreams,” murmured Matt sleepily.

Kelly watched as Matt drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. Everything was right with the world now. And he hoped it would stay that way for a long time.

* * *

 

The next morning, Andy walked into the room to see Matt asleep facing Kelly who was also asleep on the couch that was near the door. Smiling he shook his head and turned around, leaving the room in search of coffee. Kelly and Matt gave him many headaches over the years, but he wouldn’t have them any other way. They were his brothers.

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this and comment. Thank you again for sticking with this through the inconsistent updates! And I really hope you enjoyed this last chapter.


End file.
